Now, you may be asking yourself, how will I know that john (the hubby of Jen) is actually naked? Well, here's a picture as proof:

Now, let's do this thing!
Here we have a ...
I'm sorry. Excuse me...this chair is really...erph!...scratchy.
So. Here's a turtle:

Oh! Hang on a sec; my neighbor is watering her lawn.
[opening door]
Hi, Mildred! Did you know it's National Nude Day?
Mildred? Don't run so fast, dear, remember your hip surgery!!
She's such a sweetie.
Now, check out this hot little chick:

(Question: is it ok to scratch below the belt with a back scratcher? Asking for a friend.)
And now, a taco:

Never thought I'd get those two mixed up, to be honest.
(Another question: are wood back scratchers dishwasher-safe?)
Huh. That's odd. Ever get the feeling somebody's watching you?

[crossing legs]
And finally, because this post has been the picture of modesty and decorum so far, let's end with something really inappropriate:

Hey, Carol G., Marianne F., Susan M., Sarah A., & Alexandra, for the last time: I'm up here.
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