The Wrecks Which Shall Not Be Named

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who know Harry Potter 7 is opening this weekend, and those who couldn't give a flying wrackspurt.

Now, since John is a HUGE Potter geek (and I'm only a regular-sized one), it makes sense for him to write today's Potter post. However, to make today's commentary enjoyable for all our readers, I, Jen, will be providing muggle-friendly translations.

Take it away, John!

Wow. I'd say I'm too proud to let this Wreckerator take me for a ride with this wreck, but that might seem...hippogriffical.

Heh. Aheh. Heh.

TRANSLATION: A "hippogriff" is half horse, half eagle. Kind of like this cake is half airbrush, half blobby bits, and half cardboard. Also, I stink at math. But that's not part of the translation.

What's that, John? Hurry up? Oh. Ok. I'm done. Carry on.

Professor Flitwick was not amused.

TRANSLATION: Short joke.

Cor! Has Professor Trelawney been foreseeing something GRIM here? [chortle]

TRANSLATION: See, Trelawney sometimes has the gift, which is the ability to prophesy, and there's this legendary creature called The Grim, and...uh..

[blinking]

It's a fortune teller joke.

Moving on.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give this wreck a 9 3/4.

Bwahahaha!!

TRANSLATION: Fractions are [jazz hands] maaaagical.

[whispering]

No, that was not me being sarcastic. You wanna see me being sarcastic? Ask me how I like your flip-flops.

[more whispering]

Well, where *do* you want to have this conversation? Because seriously: we need to talk about those flip-flops.

"What has it got in its pocketses!?!"

Well, it's either a green donut on a wand, or he's REALLY happy to see you.

TRANSLATION: Unnecessary. (I hope.)

Here we have a classic case of "Abracadabra" vs "Avada Kedavra:"

TRANSLATION: Muggle magic is to top hats and rabbits what wizard magic is to blowing your roof off. Word.

And finally....

[stunned silence]

TRANSLATION: That was a stunned silence.

Elizabeth C., Kala M., Holly E., Audrey B., Becca T., Rebecca J., here's hoping these wrecks were magically delicious!